Dating i highschool

Here are ten tips to keep in mind while dating in high school. View available schools. Top 10 Tips for High School Dating. 10. Develop your own personality. Nothing is less attractive to the opposite sex than a person with no confidence, hobby or personality of their own. If you're creative, get involved with a writing group or join the band. High school relationships can be complicated, but with these tips on high school dating, you will know what to expect so you can keep your relationship going.Teen relationships face unique challenges and don't always last although they can lead to long-term commitments. John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. Dating in high school, especially a private Christian high school, tends to require a little ambition, and given that ennui and sloth are besetting sins of this age, I have a hard time heavily faulting a student who is striving and reaching, even if I think they’re reaching a little too far. If I had to state a preference for student body ... Maybe dating in high school gives you experience but also the caveat of having to breakup which is what’ll you do. Rather, just have good friends in high school, have fun, begin to learn things and achieve somethings. Go to college and find an interesting field, travel a little and then look for people on the same path along the way, similar ... Why Dating In High School Is Overrated. 1 / 10. Being Single Allows You To Focus On Your Friendships. Building strong foundations with friends can take time. Being single allows you the flexibility to devote your time and attention to the platonic relationships in your life instead of spending time with people who may be inconsistent or ... In your high school years, a lot of people are very immature, so if you're someone who is more mature for your age, you may find the whole high school dating thing to be a waste of time. Conclusion and Advice. Your high school years are a time to find who you are. I'll never forget when my good friend Oliver decided to change the focus his dating life. Like most of my 20-something friends from high school now living in the big city, he was enjoying the ... High school dating relaxes the barrier that social media seems to create. Teenagers are able to experience companionship that extends beyond Facebook and Instagram. 2. Experience. Think of high school as a training ground. Teens who experience a variety of relationships in high school will be more prepared for college and adulthood. I am strictly against college guys dating lil gals in high school...its not legal to date a minor and even though my daughter is in college now if a man in his 20's started having an interest in her when she was still in high school..well,her brothers are big guys who don't need anyone messing with their dear sister.

New to ENM and scared to get hurt again. Would love encouragement

2020.09.29 20:37 Lostboy1987forlife New to ENM and scared to get hurt again. Would love encouragement

Hi everyone!
I’m a novice when it comes to the world of Polyamory. Please excuse my lack of knowledge and grammatical understanding of the many abbreviations that represent a individual.
First off; I am a 33m married to my Highschool sweetheart and the mother of our beautiful children. She is 32f. We enjoy each other and also the flexibility of being independent on our own hobbies.
We both started off raised in a unhealthy religious upbringing. So marriage for the first 5 years was trial and error. We made mistakes and lived a very confused life. Due to the shaming culture that can come from church. I always encouraged my partner to explore her sexuality (not with others but what she enjoyed or made her sexually happy) unfortunately she really struggled with this as it was a direct emotional conflict with her Christian identity at the time. A few years later (2017) we started pushing the envelope on being open to each other about our attractions and what made each of us feel sexy and safe. I felt like I was at that stage of life where my partner and I were communicated with excitement and honesty (very vulnerable stage if you get to experience it for yourself). My partner shared her attraction to a mutual friend of ours. I was like “ wow that’s a big jump and hurdle of vulnerability for her to feel safe sharing this feeling with me” I asked lots of questions, we we’re having incredibly hot sex, she was sharing sexual fantasies through this few months of entry. We decided that this feeling was intoxicating and that I really wanted my love and partner to hear from other people that she was attractive! So we started a online profile that the wife could build on her self esteem. It was really encouraged by me. 1 because I love her, 2 because I wanted to see her happy, which I could benefit from some of the sexual growth. 3 it allowed us to explore our feelings. This was a time in our lives where we were in stride hand in hand. I never felt closer to my partner!
Stage 2.0 the transition The wife was getting more and more confident in her online relationships. While I was starting to feel more and more as a puppet, I started feeling like I was not apart of the sexual excitement any longer, I was on the outside looking in. It was my first really intense feeling of jealousy. And I started having uncontrollable doubts about my self worth ( I fought myself because I didn’t want to get in the way of her new found happiness, yet I was starting to feel invaluable to the relationship). I was continuously going through therapy, yet we didn’t talk about this secret because we were afraid that it would be questionable in the eyes of your family therapist. I came to a breaking point where I shared my struggles on how I was feeling. Yet I didn’t have a answer on how to improve it. I kept telling myself that I was being selfish for asking my partner to take a break and help focus on us.
Unfortunately at this stage we had a tremendous amount of terrible things upright our family and friends group. (Our child was one of two boys who were exposed to and molested) by a older boy who was a foster brother to our friends kids) we we’re going through therapy as a couple to help us navigate our feelings and to help support our child. Yet, it was more of a distraction from our previous feelings as a partnership. We both stooped into states of depression. It felt like we were both missing the what filled our buckets (to be noticed and found attractive) for my wife that was from outside relationships, for me it was from my partner. We ended up getting in large fights, feeling miserable the works.
Stage 3: continuing before both partners are aware of what they need
This section is the most interesting for myself, I’ve spent a large amount of energy and sleepless nights playing back and forth.
My partner came to me with a very vulnerable request, she acknowledged that she was extremely depressed, she wanted to go back to online relationships, to help her feel confident.
Unfortunately at this stage, neither one of us were in a place to be able stop and work through what we needed for the health of our relationship.
Wife jumped back into her online relationships, I continued down the self pity, self destructing of my make up, I went so deep that I was questioning my partner and her desire to better me and our relationship. I told myself that I wasn’t wanted or needed... it was becoming clear that I was so jealous of the other relationships and attention that I was on the outside looking in. We agreed and continued to talk about our feelings, I shared to the best of my abilities how I was feeling, yet I didn’t have the appropriate tools to share what I needed. My partner was to deep into multiple relationships to be able to stop herself from falling in love with one person very strongly. I remember around Christmas timeframe, I broke down and asked that we take a break and that I needed help with my confidence and the triggers that I was experiencing.
Unfortunately it wasn’t well received, due to alcohol and passion, some incredibly painful things were shared. “This makes me happy and your taking this from me”, “I’m going to continue to do this with or without you” and many many other painful remarks.
As you read this I hope you understand that when I’m my back is against the wall I will hurt myself to make others happy. Yet I was feeling buried by all this resentment and lack of trust. That I shared that if you are going to do what ever you want with or without me, than I’m done. I want this family and I want you in it. Yet I’m not going to be the punching bag.
We spent 2-3 months working intensively with a couples therapist, another marriage therapist, trying to fix what cane crumbling down.
I was drinking every night, we spent every waking hour crying and feeling so much hurt.
Yet we held onto each other and were working through the trauma and trust issues that we were having. Also wife was working through her own pain and feelings of losing a love partner.
I didn’t want to go back to the feelings of what I experienced in the first year of exploring other relationships. So I held my ground that other relationships need to take a back seat to our primary relationship so that we can each heal.
We were each seeing our own therapist, as well as testing out many other therapist that understood and were openly aware and trained with open relationships. It was like a wave of closeness and distance every day for months.
Stage 4: heart break and trust destruction
The wife asked that I read a email that she was afraid to share with me. It was something that she had spent a ton of energy thinking through.
The email was a very heartfelt apology about how I was treated that she acknowledged that we each made a lot of mistakes. And that she needs this other relationships, and a full email of what that would look like for her. She asked that I read it, and not respond but join her the next day at her personal therapy appointment.
So we met and went to her therapy session. I shared my feelings, that this letter, doesn’t take me into account and that I need to feel secure in our relationship and build back that trust. I was very clear and understood that before we left that we agreed that we we’re going to do that, that would be the focus.
For days later, I came home from work and felt like I was optimistic about my partner hearing my feelings and wanting to put that energy into me. I sat down with her on the couch and my sister was staying with us, the wife was flipping through her apps that were open on her phone, and I saw it. It was the Kik app that she had previously used 5 months earlier to communicate with her other relationships. I was stuck, we were together yet my sister was there, so I couldn’t acknowledge it at that moment, so later that night I asked, I said, hey, I saw that you have the Kik app, is there something that you want to tell me?
She broke down and shared that she had continued to have relationships with these partners for that she had previously, that she had even went and met one in person for a date. ( we had a very clear boundary back when she was online dating that I was not comfortable with her meeting anyone in person) we agreed that she should go stay with her mom for a few days and decide if she was done with the relationship that we had.
The next two or three days were the worst I’ve ever felt. I was being used and lied to.
We spent the next few months fighting to save our marriage, therapy, crying, nervous breakdowns, having to get help with medication. It was rock bottom for myself. Honestly I still look back on that time and I wish someone would have punched me in the face, because that would have been way easier to accept than my absolute favorite person in the world stabbing me in the back.
For the next 5 months we went back and forth on a separation. What would that look like. We we’re working with a new therapist to help us navigate through those feelings.
I was and am continuously be told that “I need this other life and it brings me happiness”. We fight for each other yet have this Grand Canyon size hole in our relationship. We spent 4 months through the fall working with the marriage therapist. We agree that we need to stop talking about the elephant in the room, and focus on what this relationship needs. My partner shares that she will commit to not talking about her other desires for a while and we will spend all energy on the family and healing.
Stage 5: healing and growth
We spent the first 8 months laughing together crying together, living a life together. I continued to see my person therapist, working through my triggers and feelings of heartbreak.
We had the privilege to take our kids traveling together and really focused on the kids. Then COVID-19 happens. It was one of the better things to happen to us, it forced us to be there together and work through some feelings, love on each other and love on our kids together( COVID is bad and impactful. It was also a good thing, because it took away the many distractions). I felt as if we were turning a leaf. We started openly talking about the struggle and desire to have other relationships. What that represented for her. Unfortunately I am and have continued to struggle of trusting her from our previous experience and the trauma that plays it’s self out, so I said I’m not sure that I want to have a open relationship. Which really continued this road block in our relationship together.
The entire time the wife read and joined groups to understand herself and what she needs to feel fulfilled, while I tried my hardest to hope that we could resurrect a broke relationship. We have gone back and forth on our feelings and desires to stay married, yet there is this feeling that she can’t commit to that relationship without knowing that we are working towards a open lifestyle.
Stage 6: education and repair of old wounds
We have been in this stage for 1 month. It’s been triggering, difficult at times and downright scary, yet we are in therapy working on determining what a open lifestyle could look like. I’m reading the ethical slut. And then a book on jealousy. I’m working on my triggers from previous years of hurt, she’s working on validating my feelings and allowing me to be vulnerable with her.
My goals are, I will read the books, ask the questions, understand the reasoning of what it means to be a ethical slut. To build the trust that has been broken.
I love this woman and I reflect that we have both been hell. I want to be the person in her life that she knows is her strong foundation. And that she can be able to validate my feelings and push energy into me for our relationship.
My hope is that we can work through all our hopes and dreams, that we can openly communicate and feel safe doing so. That we can allow boundaries and trust that our other partner has the best intentions when navigating this new world! And if we can accomplish that, than we can navigate together or separate other relationships.
Sorry for the long winded story, I apologize for any grammatical errors or run on sentences.
submitted by Lostboy1987forlife to nonmonogamy [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 20:27 DopeboyR039 Need advice to score a crush, and make her mine.

How would i go about dating a girl i went to highschool with, I've always thought she was beautiful but never bothered trying until now. But now she lives like 45min away from me, she said she thinks I'm cute and never noticed i always had a crush in her. The thing is shes a pretty girl that hung out with the odd, nerdy group well i was the popular kid who hung out with a group of popular kids. We both graduated, she's 19, im 20. We were a grade apart. Any advice or tips?
submitted by DopeboyR039 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 18:36 charzilla139 Will most companies allow you to get you write up history?

So I worked at a company for over 10 years (highschool, mid 20s). And I want to be truthful on the write ups but no way I could remember each one over a 10 year span. I know they were usually small like attendence or something but I'm not sure on dates or exactness. Do most companies allow to get your write up records? I just don't want to miss anything!
submitted by charzilla139 to SecurityClearance [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 18:04 Nicos123212 Hormones Going Crazy!

For the past couple months I’ve had a sudden urge to only watch romance related anime. I previously only watched shonen or action, but have recently had a sudden change of heart. I’ve seen a few now in those past two weeks, but have sadly run out of things to watch. I know there are still a lot more that I have yet to watch, but what are some recommendations you all have?
Here are some of the romance related anime that I have seen so far:
•Toradora!
•Oregairu
•Rascal Does not dream of a bunny girl senpai
•Darling in the Franxx
•Kaguya sama love is war
•Golden time
•The pet girl of Sakurasou
•Nisekoi / manga
•Tsuki ga Kirei
•Chivalry of a Failed knight
•Mayo Chiki!
•Highschool DxD
•Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai
•Kokoro connect
•Guilty Crown
•Relife
•Kono oto Tomare!
•Sword art online (S1,2,3)
•Maid sama
•Date a live
•Plastic memories
•Tsurezure Children
•The Quintessential Quintuplets
•Your Name
•Tenki no ko
•Skip Beat!
•Oreshura
•Masamune-Kun no Revenge
•Boarding School Juliet
•Rent-a-Girlfriend
Here are my favorites of the ones I’ve seen:
•Rent-a-Girlfriend
•Masamune-Kun no revenge
•Tsurezure Children
•The Quintessential Quintuplets
•Toradora!
•Oregairu
•Rascal Does not dream of a bunny girl senpai
•Darling in the Franxx
•Kaguya sama love is war
•Golden time
submitted by Nicos123212 to Animesuggest [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 18:00 sred69v2 I got lead in school play that I’ve been extremely excited for but my girlfriend doesn’t want me to do it because the girl who is my co-star has caused relationship issues in past. Need help.

I am a 17 year old boy, senior in highschool My girlfriend is a 18 year old girl, college freshman.
Six months ago, I was 6 months into the best relationship I’ve ever had. We are still dating.
However, six months ago another thing was going on. Another girl who I will call B started flirting with me a lot and I reciprocated. I lied and flirted with this girl behind my girlfriends back. She caught me and I almost lost her for good, but I completely cut ties with B, and I got her back.
For six months we’ve worked through this and are now better off.
Now I auditioned for a show. I want to be an actor when I grow up because I love acting with everything that I am. It is my senior year and I finally got my first lead role. I am very happy and very excited to act and do good. However I my co-star is B, and it’s a love story.
I am not happy about her being my co-star but it doesn’t mean much to me because it’s simply a show and it’s just acting. I want nothing to do with girl B. Ever. I hate her now because I watched her go and do the same thing to a bunch of other relationships. She is a lying demon and I fell for it. You probably think that’s an exaggeration but trust me it’s not. I don’t want to be around her and outside of acting I have no intentions of interacting with her.
But my girlfriend is very upset by this and basically she’s saying it’s her or the show.
On one hand, I’ve been excited for this show for months and I worked rly hard in auditions to get the role.
On the other hand, what I did was really shitty and it hurt her BAD. Like rly bad. I never cheated on her but she has been cheated on so it was like tearing at a scar.
I don’t want to hurt her, and I don’t want to lose her. But I don’t want to drop the show either, this is my last shot to get a lead role in high school and I don’t wanna miss it, plus I am very confident I will do good in this role.
I need her to trust me again because I mean it when I say I have no intention on interacting with her (B) outside of acting, but during the time (6months ago) she can’t trust me because I lied to her so many times, in so many different ways before I was caught.
What do?
TLDR: I got lead role in a play I’ve been very very excited for, but my co-star is a girl that has caused troubles in my relationship (it was my fault). My girlfriend doesn’t want me to do the show, but acting is my passion and this is the first and probably only time I’ll get a lead role for awhile. What do?
submitted by sred69v2 to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 17:02 Neftroshi I(24) was thinking about what the heck have I done with my life, and was very pessimistic about it and wrote all of this. And after writing, it gets optimistic at the end. Maybe Life's not so bad. This title is the tldr.

1995- Birth
2000- starts school
2010- picks up drawing and watching anime as a hobby/ joins a cult
2014- takes HVAC class/ caffeine overdose, in debt for ambulance ride/ goes to prom with random girl who asked me to go, graduates highschool/ gets first job, quits, gets second job.
2015- pays back debt/has seizure, gets passed off as anxiety/ throws up a lot, gets surgery for meckel's diverticulum/ starts doubting cult/ saves up, buys first used car, Gets Driver's license, teaches two of 4 siblings how to drive.
2016- quits second job, gets third job in HVAC that requires driving/ gets first girlfriend who was closest friend since highschool as well as from cult, she lives in another city, kissing is against cult rules and to be saved for marriage day (atleast told so by her family)/ quits third job due to horrible boss/ has second seizure, neurologisit visits begin, told not to drive anymore until seizure free for atleast six months/ girlfriend gives me silent treatment after second week, doesn't say why, doesn't answer calls, I'm stressed because jobless and seizures and now nobody to talk to, I send a break-up text, relationship ended after only one month, no longer friends eithe gets fourth job in a restaurant as a dishwasher and a line cook due to recommendation from cult members/ gets diagnosed with epilepsy, gets really sad, seizures don't stop, has to continue taking meds, loses hope, puts car for sale at end of the year.
2017- ex notices my car for sale, wants to buy, comes by to buy and explains her silent treatment to me from last year as depression because her parents got divorced and she didn't want to talk to anyone and she pushed everyone away, including me, give her a hug, we consolidate eachother a bit, but we don't get back together. Kinda try to stay friends/I Accept I have a disability, still kinda sad, stop caring about life, just focuses on cult and on work, even though I doubt the cult's teachings/ continues to have seizures and doctor visits.
2018- gets contacted from old friend from highschool not from the cult with whom I haven't spoke in years, tells me to quit my job and work with him in autoparts retail, I agree. Quits 4th job, gets fifth job/ Starts thinking about doubts in cult, get contacted by ex's older sister, am told ex was disfellowshipped from cult. According to cult rules, sinners are to be disfellowshipped and shunned even by family until they repent from their sins and/or until a certain time frame goes by. Doubts in religion sky rocket, belief in god swayed, refuses to shun ex because of belief that she is depressed and shunning will only worsen that, announces dissasociation from cult, reaches out to ex. She apologizes for "swaying my faith" because she still believes in the cult. "I don't care about the cult, I care about you, you're my best friend". She apologizes for not having the relationship we wanted two years ago. She asks me out on a date. Of course I say Yes. We go see Black Panther, we go play air hockey, we go to applebees, I don't drink alcohol due to epilepsy and the risk it has for seizures, but I say "screw it, I'll drink with you," I try my first glass of alcohol ever, I hate it, she drinks like four. We start talking about everything, she tells me about her most recent ex and that he cheated on her. In fact, she had three exes since me. I haven't had any since her. (I mean I did chat here and there with other women from the cult or from dating apps, but nobody wanted to date me). Anyways we started talking about our darkest secrets and so in doing that I found out she got disfellowshipped because she had sex with each of those three of her exes and she finally confessed to the cult leaders in her congregation. Whereas my darkest secrets were that i watched porn, and I touched a girls butt once without her permission when i was a minor. She said what I did is so small compared to what she did. Anyways "That's really stupid, sex is a normal desire for all adults. You're getting disfellowshipped because of something normal," I said " You know, the main reason you probably have depression is because this cult made you believe that normal things like sex, holidays, and birthdays, are wrong. It's a stupid system, they guilt trip you into depression and then guilt trip you into coming back. Screw that i'm done with guilt. I'm done with that brainwashing. I'm never going back to that religion." She disagreed, she was born and raised and grew up in this cult and refused to believe the cult could be wrong. I was only in it since 2010. It was wrong. We hung out a while after Applebees closed. And she told me, "let's try again. This relationship thing." "Yeah" I said. We chat a bit more take ubers home and we take it extremely slow and and we hug and she kisses me on the cheek as we seperate until next time. I try to call her up a day later to set up second date, she doesn't answer. Reminds me of the silent treatment from first time being together. I pass it off as nothing because I don't want to over react like the first time. Maybe this is just that "three day rule or whatever" I thought. "I'll wait a couple days." Two more days later I call, no answer the first time. I wait a few hours. I try to call again. A guy picks up saying "Hello, This is [Ex's] boyfriend, who is this?"... drama ensues, I apologize to the guy and say I didn't know and that we didn't do anything. I hang up. I send a text saying I was just a friend and wanted to talk to her. He calls me back and passes the phone to her. And I let her explain herself. Everything was a lie. She claimed she loved me and wanted to be with me but she refused to leave her boyfriend. "You're just taking advantage of me" I teared up. Everyone in my family could see me crying and i didn't want them to. I Ieave the house and my sister follows me. I cry like a little bitch. What the hell was I doing these last four years being interested in this girl and keeping in contact with her! I wasted these four years of my life. I cried a lot, I've never felt that much pain in my heart before. I was too pushover-ish at the time that I couldn't say anything mean to her. My sister got hella pissed. Got her contact info from my phone, and texted my ex the most meanest shit i've ever seen anyone say before. My sister got my back. We got home. And my little brother got my phone and blocked the ex on everything. Blocked on social media, and blocked her phone number. I didn't realize how helpless I looked but my family did everything they could to help. They knew what was better for me than I did. I have never talked to that ex since.
And now I didn't have a religion to go back to either. I finally started opening up to my coworkers at work. I finally made my first two friends outside of the cult.
2019- Got my second car after seizure free for almost two years.And then I had a seizure anyway and my drivers license was revoked. I didn't sell the car this time./ I had a started hanging out with my coworkers outside of work. Learned about their hobbies. Started talking about my favorite anime. Started drawing more and shared my drawings. Drew things for them (new friends). Went out to eat with friends. My coworkers friend group starts getting turbulent because his friend was being abusive to his girlfriend (even I noticed the abuse). Coworker gets them to break up. Stops being friends with guy. Guy's ex girlfriend asks my coworker out, they get together. These two are my closest friends since I left the cult and they are the best example of a nice relationship i have ever seen too now. They are so lovey dovey with eachother it's insane that a relationship can be like that. To me atleast, after what i went through. We three start hanging out. They tell me i should get a girlfriend so that we could double date, I tell them I want one, but I want something like what they have and there's no girls into me rn anyway. "And I don't want anyone rn anyway because i don't have any good experiences with relationships." They joked about the cult I left and how I haven't had my first kiss yet and a bunch of other stuff. And honestly I was happy because i've been able to look back at a horrible past and relationship and I'm able to laugh at it now. These two people have helped so much and they don't even know it.
2020- The year I was going to try to get a girlfriend and to actually try to date again. But then coronavirus happened. And this year has just been wild for the whole world. Too much stuff going on. And honestly it's been an extremely calm year for me. It's like taking a break from everything. Like hitting the restart button. I renewed my drivers license. My parents got new jobs and seem happier. My friends (coworker and his girlfriend) have announced they are moving in together in another city. The girl already left ahead. And now my coworker is going to leave in the beginning of November. And once they are gone. I'll be without friends again. And honestly. Although I'm a little scared, I'm also little excited. These two, I think, are going to be friends for life. And they helped me get through my tough times. I only hope they feel like i've helped in their lives even if only a little. We already agreed to keep in contact. Today my coworker, my friend, is coming over, to hang out outside of work. This might be the last time we hang out outside of work in a very very long time. I'm going to try to cherish this day.
This is a very interesting chapter in my life, and I wonder optimistically, what it is that will come next. Life's not so bad after all. I think. Have a wonderful day! Thanks for reading.
submitted by Neftroshi to confessions [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 15:40 lilpill69 I ruined sex for her.

So I (23M) have been with my girl (20F) for almost 4 years now. We had a great sex life for i would say 70% of the relationship. For the last 4 months we have gone from sex almost everyday to around maybe once a week if i am lucky. My problem is that she is very very attractive. Like i never thought i would get a girl like her ever. Shes been my only sexual partner. I lost my vcard to her when i just turned 20.
I missed out on all the sexual action most teens get in their highschool days, so my sex drive is very high. I love the connection i used to get with her and being able to explore her body was the best thrill. This month has been the hardest. Whenever i try to initiate she tells me she is “tired” or “didnt shower since before work.”
We always made love when she got off work... now it just seems like she is making excuses. Ive tried being more romantic, took her on a date every week this month. She seems happy its just her sex drive is now non existent. She doesnt even kiss me as much anymore. Nothing hurts more watching your partner that you were once to connected with just fade away. Last time i brought it up she told me it doesnt feel as good for her and she has been faking orgasms on me. Then she just wants me to cuddle with her until she goes to sleep leaving me feeling unwanted. Idk what to do i love her so much but without that connection with her its like shes just a best friend. Everytime i bring it up to her she gets defensive saying all i want is sex. Its drawing a negative vibe around sex now and idk how to fix it.
submitted by lilpill69 to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 11:42 hapaERV2cel Welcome to the clown show

I just need some space to vent up. I used to be a massie bluepilling dude when growing up. I legit thought personality is what matters the most. To be fair I grew up in north of France where people are still quiet religious and life is very mundane. After highschool I decided to go to my father's side country in Japan. I am half French/Jap (hapa). My mom is quiet pretty and my dad is a fat sushi cook so I never thought too much about appearances at first but I just realised it was different back then. Anyways so I got into a private westernised Uni in Japan and met a local Japanese girl from hellotalk. At the time we both only had anime pics on our profile but our convo seemed nice and we were really fond of each other so we decided to hang out.
I still remember the face of utter disgust she gave me. I didn't understand as I was bluepilled as fuck and no other people had commented about looks back in France before. However I knew I wasn't popular with the girls but it didn't bother me since I was still a "kid". Anyways once we met she just commented that I look Filipino/Indian. It was the first time hearing that. Throughout our meeting she would constantly say that she felt so dissapointed and that she felt catfished. I showed her proof of my nationality through my ID card and she just sighed in release that the reason I look like shit is because my dad is the Asian. Anyways she blocked me on everything after we talked for 2 months non stop together.
I just thought maybe this is just an outlier and she was just a superficial bitch. Well throughout the 4 years I stayed there I didn't end up getting any gf and was kind of a shut in during the last 6 months. I tried going on dates and whenever I used my pic first they wouldnt even respond back but when I had my anime pic on they would at least consider a date but once they met me it was always the same remarks "FIlipino/ Thai/ Indian". I felt truly ugly in Japan and have since. I felt never this concious about my looks before and when I saw my full white French/American friends get in with girls so easily even though they were just fucking weebs, shorter than me, smaller frame or not fashionable, it made me realise how much I hated being half Asian. Everyone has a different experience of the blackpill but for me the racepill is the one that keeps on giving it to me.
submitted by hapaERV2cel to IncelsWithoutHate [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 11:36 vore-whydowesuffer Help, I'm an alien and don't know how to talk to people, need help finding a date.

I need someone to help me. I want to date someone. I am not antisocial, but am extremly shy and socially awkward around strangers. I had 0 friends in highschool. I have 1 friend now and I am 20. I know my life will fly by if I dont find a partner now but need help.
1st. How do I even find a girl? I'm in college and at school, where do normal people find partners? Do I walk up to strangers? Do I... I cant think of anything. What do I do?
Please help me, I am suffering inside.
submitted by vore-whydowesuffer to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 08:50 totalynotathrowavvay How do ppl make friends these days? Or find their significant other?

So how do I start this? Guess exposition! (edit: can skip anything after the first 3 rows, mostly venting there)
I'm in my early 30s. Got my fair share of mental issues, but I'm good at hiding it. Did not have any real life friend/acquaintance in more of a decade and the last friend I had kinda kept me around as a last choice to come first choice to go/pet sort of thing. And before that had some even more one sided/toxic friendships (was not aware at the time, felt like the best friends in the whole wide world!). No job since 2015, just on and off working from home (online stuff). Never had a girlfriend or girl friend, irl or online. Had an online friend a long time ago, back in highschool, but he changed for the worst overtime and eventually just broke ties with him. A few years later made 2 new online friends, met them in a game we all played. One of them did not click well, we had conflicting personalities, standards and expectations from each other, and yet we still managed to hang out and play games. The other, well, it's, from my experience, what I would call a best friend, always patient, non judgemental, open to debate, can talk with him about anything and everything, even something he does not agree with or is offended by he can still have a friendly relaxed debate. An amazing person! The kind of person that someone like me does not deserve. Always I felt deep down that I was a parasite and that I was waisting his time. That I was taking from our friendship farm more then I was giving. And as much as I wanted, did not have much to give... One day, about 3 years ago I opened up a bit about some of my mental issues and wish I did not. It felt like I have forcefully put some wait on his shoulders just cause I was carrying mine. Felt guilty and that I broke some unspoken of barrier that no one is supposed to break. I was afraid he was not gone see me as before, more like a broken person he has to be treated carefully. I was terrified that he was gona look down on me from then on or that he was not gone be himself around me. Nothing really changed with him thow, he was the same, witch was great. But now I opened Pandora's box. While I never spoke about my issues again, I started complaining about random small issues from my life, small thing that I was blowing out of proportion, stuff that while was bothering me I was fine with it since forever. I realised recently that was my subconscious way of letting steam out the sides to prevent the lid from blowing off. It's been almost a month now since he last answered, he's around daily, just ignoring me. I appologised about this many times before and he always said there's is nothing to apologise for As I said before, I kinda expected this sooner, no idea why he hanged out with me for so long. I should have walked away earlier, but I was selfish. That being said I don't feel quite well with the idea of making new friends, even worse with the idea of looking for a significant other.
/exposition

All that being said, the idea of being alone until the day I die sounds even worse. Being in a big community/group chat tends to feel even worse, it's odd, the more ppl I am around at a time, the more lonely I feel. Ideally a 2-3 group seems the lucky number. It's odd. So I started looking on all kind of subreddits (here, r4r, naf, gamerpals, friends only or dating subs mostly) a few months ago. Funny enough, while looking for ppl with common gaming interests (this seems like the easyest icebreakefriendship starter and any other person I met online, was in some game), I found mostly females. I posted a few times, but got next to no answers, and when I did, it went nowhere, so I started reading through posts, a few hours every day and messaging at least 3-10 ppl every day. So by now, I contacted at least a thousand ppl! Most ppl never answer, some do, we add each other on discord, I try to start a conversation, feels Like I'm pulling teeth or dragging boulders uphill, some seem great, go straight to voice, eather the person talks non stop about some random stuff, or we have a decent conversation, and that's it, they never answer again, some say it's not what they were looking for, others wana keep it a "text once a week" sort of thing. And these are ppl with detailed, enthusiastic posts! Like wtf? From that to get to a convo where I get 3 word answers 1 hour late? How? Why? If there is something wrong or just not interested, or found someone else, or whatever, why not just say it! Why look for something if you are not interested in it?
And then there's the female side of it. Less then 1 in 10 answer (understandable, from what I talked with they get 20-50 messages when they post), most of them completely refuse voice chat or want a "trial period" of a few days or weeks before we can voice chat. What?!?! why make a post that says pretty much "I'm bored, looking for someone to voice chat and/or play x, y or z game with" If you found someone else, say so! Someone I kept being insitent with, said she did find someone but could not decide if they were entertaining enough so kept me "on hold". Well shit. So much time and effort and nothing to show for it at the end of the day. Why ppl put so much effort into a nice, detailed post and then be that way? Seems worse then a shitty job ad. Yea, I'm a bit of a bland and boring person and have not much to say and most ppl would probably not be ok with that, but I can't even get to the point when that becomes an issue. When I first got the motivation and courage to do this, I was prepared for a long term hard work task, but holy shit, this feels imposible!
I could keep going on, but what's the point, bottom line is I think this is the wrong approach, the wrong place or I'm doing it very very wrong. So now my question is: How do ppl make friends these days? Or find their significant other? Cause reddit or dating apps is deffenently not it, not for me at least. To be honest, I kinda gave up on it and accepted my fate. I'm not expecting much, but hey, u never know if u don't try, right? Plus I had to let some steam out about this before my head exploded.
Sorry for the wall of text and for any typos.
submitted by totalynotathrowavvay to lonely [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 08:08 Not_For_Anyone I fear that an incident that happened with my sister will cause a big issue within our family communication. I need help.

My younger sister, only by one year, just turned 18. And I suppose she felt as if she was an adult so that gave her the right to not tell any one where she would be, causing everyone to worry as it 12 in the morning. My mom called and called until finally there was an answer. Apperantly my sister got drunk, for the first time, and was at her boyfriends house. During the conversation she was yelling and telling them that they couldn't tell her what to do anymore because she was an adult. They asked for the boyfriends address so someone could take her home but she refused.
Long story short, we ended up getting her and my mom and step dad had a talk with her the day after. She said she had no regrets, that was the funniest time she ever had, etc. Originally I thought they had taken her car away as punishment but my sister said something to my mom that made her feel guilty and fearful and thus not punishing her. My mom and stepfather feel "blackmailed." My mom does not want to punish my sister cause she thinks that will drive her out of the house while she is still in highschool. My step father however wants to punishe her but he fears my mom will leave him IF my sister chooses to leave, because she would see it as his fault that her daughter left. So really they don't know what to do. And honestly, I don't either. How do you punish someone who is technically considered an adult? Do you even punish them? If so, what are ways without pushing her out of the house?
DONT HAVE TO READ THIS, ONLY iF YOU WANT MORE INFO ON MY PARENTS PARENTING STYLE
I guess she felt throughout her whole intire highschool life that our parents were more strict then others. We had cefews, had to let them know where we are going, had to let them meet boyfriends before going on official dates, etc. My sister thought these were silly since other kids got to stay out later and didn't have to text or tell their parents where they were going. I also should mention that my step-father told me that he would have allowed me specifically to stay late or over other boys houses or whatever because I was an adult and acted like one. He also said since I wasn't in highschool and instead in college I was able to have more freedom and less rules then my sisters. Another thing he mentioned was that he knew we would experience alcohol sooner or later and said that we should tell them what are plans were, that way when we were done we could call them for them to pick us up. He figured it was better to do that and make sure we were safe and not rebell and drive home drunk. And yet my sister rebelled anyway and I believe, though I can't be for certain as I was only eas dropping from afar, that she had threatened to drive home drunk.
submitted by Not_For_Anyone to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 03:27 Lax_logan The dating pool in my (23M) area is extremely barren. Any advice or suggestions?

As the title says the dating pool in my area is extremely sparse. Most people here are around or older than my parents age mid 50s - mid 60s. While in college I moved to a larger city where there was plenty of fish in the sea, now it’s like I’m stuck in a old puddle. I moved back to my hometown after finishing college because of the money, there is a lot of elderly people so the hospital I work at pays more then the city I was in. I don’t like dating at work but also it isn’t really an option cause most people there are 30+ and married. I feel like 23 is an odd age for my area, there are some people aged 27-33 but not many and they are mostly married or have small children. I have a younger brother who is 16 and there are a lot of teens in the area but I don’t want to date some 18 yr old fresh outta highschool, it seems kinda creepy and I feel we wouldn’t have much to relate on. I’ve tried dating apps (tindebumble/Facebook date) and I’m rather disappointed in them, they don’t seem the best for dudes. It seems like it’s just a coincidence but the 20-25 age group in my area is lacking for some reason.
submitted by Lax_logan to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 03:21 nicknameedan [Preclinical] 21M Medical student from south east asia looking for friends to practice english speaking :D

I have discord, zoom, and google meeting.
.
My interests : medicine, interplanetary travel, movies related to physics/sci-fiction, biology (i was a biology olympiad winner in highschool), anime, gaming, drumming
I am a member of AMSA (but i never get to attend an international event._.), and i participated in IMSPQ 2019 (a physiology competition by prof cheng hwee ming)
I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year, if you want to talk about anything that troubles your mental health i'll be glad to talk with you in perspective of both victim and future-physician!
I am also considering to move into netherland in the future and is currently trying to learn dutch
I am open for everyone reading this post, if you just want to ask some question relating to medical school that is also okay, you dont have to be a healthcare-related student
.
I got plenty of free time due to covid and i suppose i can use it to improve my english speaking, bonus points if we can actually share medical knowledge ;)
.
.
Note : i'm not interested in dating or anything like that
submitted by nicknameedan to medicalschool [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 02:28 nicknameedan 21M Medical student from South East Asia looking for friends to practice english speaking :D

I have discord, zoom, and google meeting.
My interests : medicine, interplanetary travel, movies related to physics/sci-fiction, biology (i was a biology olympiad winner in highschool), anime, gaming, drumming
I am a member of AMSA (but i never get to attend an international event._.), and i participated in IMSPQ 2019 (a physiology competition by prof cheng hwee ming)
I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year, if you want to talk about anything that troubles your mental health i'll be glad to talk with you in perspective of both victim and future-physician!
I am also considering to move into netherland in the future and is currently trying to learn dutch
If you just want to ask some question relating to medical school that is also okay, you dont have to be a healthcare-related student
.
Note : i'm not interested in dating or anything like that
submitted by nicknameedan to medicalstudent [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 00:19 ScuffedSyn Recurring dream for 10 years

TLDR; I keep dreaming about a boy I knew 10 years ago. I'm asexual/aromantic, but I keep dreaming we are in a relationship. This dream has been recurring for the past 10 years, but for the last 4 it's been at least 4 times a week. What could this mean? Do I just crave to be back in that time, or am I subconsciously in love with him? (It's messing with my aro brain please help)
I made a post about this in dreams and mentalhealth, but I wanted as many angles as possible. So, basically I have always been very shy and anxious (especially in middle school/highschool, it was crippling) in 6th grade I met this boy and we were friends for the next 3 years (6th, 7th, and 8th grade) we didn't talk outside of school or anything but I believed we were good friends. I never talked much or did anything to stand out (this will make more sense once I ramble a bit) but I remember our friendship vividly. I personally think that I was a person that blended into the background and people eventually forgot about. In 7th grade I discovered my passion for art and I made a stupid drawing (dont wanna specify cause I don't want anyone to find this) and he saw it, liked it, and asked me if he could keep it. Of course I gave it to him. Anyways, that was 10 years ago. Ever since then, for the whole of the 10 years, I've been having a recurring theme in my dreams. Each dream is different but I keep dreaming that we are dating. Sometimes it's the moment he asks me out, or it's as if we have been together for years. I need to clarify that I am a 21 year old female who is asexual and aromantic. I've never had feelings for anyone and I dont want them either. I dont think I have a crush on him and I definitely don't want to be in a relationship. In the last 4 years it has become more constant. I dream of him at least 4 times a week. I found his social media earlier this year and forced myself to overcome my anxiety and message him. Turns out he remembers who I am, and he kept the drawing I made him. He told me that he had been looking at the drawing and was wondering where I ended up. What a coincidence, right? So, we agreed to meet up in person soon. I'm not sure what's going to happen, but he doesn't know anything about this at all. I'm not going to tell him cause that awkward and scary. But, what does it mean if I keep dreaming of the same person for 10 years? I heard once that maybe it means that I just crave to be back in that time period. I also heard maybe there's something about him that I admired. I just dont know but it's eating away at me. I would like this to be an open discussion. Any opinions, comments, or potential answers are greatly appreciated. This isn't a topic I want to bring up to my irl friends cause they would just tease me saying it's a crush and that isn't what I want to hear. I want a conversation so that I can further understand. I know this was a long read but thank you to whomever is here. I appreciate any help I can get! Thank you so much! ☺️
submitted by ScuffedSyn to therapy [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 23:35 Lostboy1987forlife One baby step into polyamory

Hi everyone!
I’m a novice when it comes to the world of Polyamory. And to this group. Please excuse my lack of knowledge and grammatical understanding of the many abbreviations that represent a individual.
First off; I am a 33m married to my Highschool sweetheart and the mother of our beautiful children. She is 32f. We enjoy each other and also the flexibility of being independent on our own hobbies.
We both started off raised in a unhealthy religious upbringing. So marriage for the first 5 years was trial and error. We made mistakes and lived a very confused life. Due to the shaming culture that can come from church. I always encouraged my partner to explore her sexuality (not with others but what she enjoyed or made her sexually happy) unfortunately she really struggled with this as it was a direct emotional conflict with her Christian identity at the time. A few years later (2017) we started pushing the envelope on being open to each other about our attractions and what made each of us feel sexy and safe. I felt like I was at that stage of life where my partner and I were communicated with excitement and honesty (very vulnerable stage if you get to experience it for yourself). My partner shared her attraction to a mutual friend of ours. I was like “ wow that’s a big jump and hurdle of vulnerability for her to feel safe sharing this feeling with me” I asked lots of questions, we we’re having incredibly hot sex, she was sharing sexual fantasies through this few months of entry. We decided that this feeling was intoxicating and that I really wanted my love and partner to hear from other people that she was attractive! So we started a online profile that the wife could build on her self esteem. It was really encouraged by me. 1 because I love her, 2 because I wanted to see her happy, which I could benefit from some of the sexual growth. 3 it allowed us to explore our feelings. This was a time in our lives where we were in stride hand in hand. I never felt closer to my partner!
Stage 2.0 the transition The wife was getting more and more confident in her online relationships. While I was starting to feel more and more as a puppet, I started feeling like I was not apart of the sexual excitement any longer, I was on the outside looking in. It was my first really intense feeling of jealousy. And I started having uncontrollable doubts about my self worth ( I fought myself because I didn’t want to get in the way of her new found happiness, yet I was starting to feel invaluable to the relationship). I was continuously going through therapy, yet we didn’t talk about this secret because we were afraid that it would be questionable in the eyes of your family therapist. I came to a breaking point where I shared my struggles on how I was feeling. Yet I didn’t have a answer on how to improve it. I kept telling myself that I was being selfish for asking my partner to take a break and help focus on us.
Unfortunately at this stage we had a tremendous amount of terrible things upright our family and friends group. (Our child was one of two boys who were exposed to and molested) by a older boy who was a foster brother to our friends kids) we we’re going through therapy as a couple to help us navigate our feelings and to help support our child. Yet, it was more of a distraction from our previous feelings as a partnership. We both stooped into states of depression. It felt like we were both missing the what filled our buckets (to be noticed and found attractive) for my wife that was from outside relationships, for me it was from my partner. We ended up getting in large fights, feeling miserable the works.
Stage 3: continuing before both partners are aware of what they need
This section is the most interesting for myself, I’ve spent a large amount of energy and sleepless nights playing back and forth.
My partner came to me with a very vulnerable request, she acknowledged that she was extremely depressed, she wanted to go back to online relationships, to help her feel confident.
Unfortunately at this stage, neither one of us were in a place to be able stop and work through what we needed for the health of our relationship.
Wife jumped back into her online relationships, I continued down the self pity, self destructing of my make up, I went so deep that I was questioning my partner and her desire to better me and our relationship. I told myself that I wasn’t wanted or needed... it was becoming clear that I was so jealous of the other relationships and attention that I was on the outside looking in. We agreed and continued to talk about our feelings, I shared to the best of my abilities how I was feeling, yet I didn’t have the appropriate tools to share what I needed. My partner was to deep into multiple relationships to be able to stop herself from falling in love with one person very strongly. I remember around Christmas timeframe, I broke down and asked that we take a break and that I needed help with my confidence and the triggers that I was experiencing.
Unfortunately it wasn’t well received, due to alcohol and passion, some incredibly painful things were shared. “This makes me happy and your taking this from me”, “I’m going to continue to do this with or without you” and many many other painful remarks.
As you read this I hope you understand that when I’m my back is against the wall I will hurt myself to make others happy. Yet I was feeling buried by all this resentment and lack of trust. That I shared that if you are going to do what ever you want with or without me, than I’m done. I want this family and I want you in it. Yet I’m not going to be the punching bag.
We spent 2-3 months working intensively with a couples therapist, another marriage therapist, trying to fix what cane crumbling down.
I was drinking every night, we spent every waking hour crying and feeling so much hurt.
Yet we held onto each other and were working through the trauma and trust issues that we were having. Also wife was working through her own pain and feelings of losing a love partner.
I didn’t want to go back to the feelings of what I experienced in the first year of exploring other relationships. So I held my ground that other relationships need to take a back seat to our primary relationship so that we can each heal.
We were each seeing our own therapist, as well as testing out many other therapist that understood and were openly aware and trained with open relationships. It was like a wave of closeness and distance every day for months.
Stage 4: heart break and trust destruction
The wife asked that I read a email that she was afraid to share with me. It was something that she had spent a ton of energy thinking through.
The email was a very heartfelt apology about how I was treated that she acknowledged that we each made a lot of mistakes. And that she needs this other relationships, and a full email of what that would look like for her. She asked that I read it, and not respond but join her the next day at her personal therapy appointment.
So we met and went to her therapy session. I shared my feelings, that this letter, doesn’t take me into account and that I need to feel secure in our relationship and build back that trust. I was very clear and understood that before we left that we agreed that we we’re going to do that, that would be the focus.
For days later, I came home from work and felt like I was optimistic about my partner hearing my feelings and wanting to put that energy into me. I sat down with her on the couch and my sister was staying with us, the wife was flipping through her apps that were open on her phone, and I saw it. It was the Kik app that she had previously used 5 months earlier to communicate with her other relationships. I was stuck, we were together yet my sister was there, so I couldn’t acknowledge it at that moment, so later that night I asked, I said, hey, I saw that you have the Kik app, is there something that you want to tell me?
She broke down and shared that she had continued to have relationships with these partners for that she had previously, that she had even went and met one in person for a date. ( we had a very clear boundary back when she was online dating that I was not comfortable with her meeting anyone in person) we agreed that she should go stay with her mom for a few days and decide if she was done with the relationship that we had.
The next two or three days were the worst I’ve ever felt. I was being used and lied to.
We spent the next few months fighting to save our marriage, therapy, crying, nervous breakdowns, having to get help with medication. It was rock bottom for myself. Honestly I still look back on that time and I wish someone would have punched me in the face, because that would have been way easier to accept than my absolute favorite person in the world stabbing me in the back.
For the next 5 months we went back and forth on a separation. What would that look like. We we’re working with a new therapist to help us navigate through those feelings.
I was and am continuously be told that “I need this other life and it brings me happiness”. We fight for each other yet have this Grand Canyon size hole in our relationship. We spent 4 months through the fall working with the marriage therapist. We agree that we need to stop talking about the elephant in the room, and focus on what this relationship needs. My partner shares that she will commit to not talking about her other desires for a while and we will spend all energy on the family and healing.
Stage 5: healing and growth
We spent the first 8 months laughing together crying together, living a life together. I continued to see my person therapist, working through my triggers and feelings of heartbreak.
We had the privilege to take our kids traveling together and really focused on the kids. Then COVID-19 happens. It was one of the better things to happen to us, it forced us to be there together and work through some feelings, love on each other and love on our kids together( COVID is bad and impactful. It was also a good thing, because it took away the many distractions). I felt as if we were turning a leaf. We started openly talking about the struggle and desire to have other relationships. What that represented for her. Unfortunately I am and have continued to struggle of trusting her from our previous experience and the trauma that plays it’s self out, so I said I’m not sure that I want to have a open relationship. Which really continued this road block in our relationship together.
The entire time the wife read and joined groups to understand herself and what she needs to feel fulfilled, while I tried my hardest to hope that we could resurrect a broke relationship. We have gone back and forth on our feelings and desires to stay married, yet there is this feeling that she can’t commit to that relationship without knowing that we are working towards a open lifestyle.
Stage 6: education and repair of old wounds
We have been in this stage for 1 month. It’s been triggering, difficult at times and downright scary, yet we are in therapy working on determining what a open lifestyle could look like. I’m reading the ethical slut. And then a book on jealousy. I’m working on my triggers from previous years of hurt, she’s working on validating my feelings and allowing me to be vulnerable with her.
My goals are, I will read the books, ask the questions, understand the reasoning of what it means to be a ethical slut. To build the trust that has been broken.
I love this woman and I reflect that we have both been hell. I want to be the person in her life that she knows is her strong foundation. And that she can be able to validate my feelings and push energy into me for our relationship.
My hope is that we can work through all our hopes and dreams, that we can openly communicate and feel safe doing so. That we can allow boundaries and trust that our other partner has the best intentions when navigating this new world! And if we can accomplish that, than we can navigate together or separate other relationships.
Sorry for the long winded story, I apologize for any grammatical errors or run on sentences.
submitted by Lostboy1987forlife to polyamory [link] [comments]


2020.09.28 23:09 ThrowRA_Security_8 I’m cheating. I don’t know what to do.

I’m going to try to explain the situation in as much detail as I can without rambling. I’m 19f. Boyfriend is 20m. I’ve been with him ever since I was 13. Met in middle school. We grew up together, in a relationship. (Saying oh you’re my world I love you forever we’re getting married at 18 blahblahblah) to semi mature stuff to being very comfortable.
During Highschool I think it was a year in when we had our first ‘girl best friend’ problem, he had a crush on a girl and they use to flirt and hold hands and he eventually admitted he had a crush on her. She had a bf as well, and she only left because I threatened to tell her bf. Then another year later it happened again but he claims he didn’t like her. Her bf made her stop talking to him and a while later, sent my bf nudes randomly one night and he freaked out. He didn’t tell me about it but other than that he handled it well I guess.
My point is, those two things during Highschool made me insecure about him being with females bc they were both his girl best friends. I never had an issue with liking another guy but many guys liked me. Things got hard when he went to college because he was treating me differently. Met new people. I met someone new. He liked me a lot and was treating me with attention I only got from my bf at the start of our relationship. I was young and didn’t really care to acknowledge having a crush is normal especially if you’re in a comfortable and secure relationship. I emotionally cheated, and we eventually broke up.
He had sex with multiple girls during our breakup while I dated that one guy, and one more for like 2 weeks. We were broken up feb 2019-October 2019. But we still talked. And had sex. I begged for him back the whole time but he only used me for sex. It was toxic. We only went 1, maybe 2 whole months without talking and that’s when I got with my last ex who was just a fling. He cheated on me, but I didn’t care I was depressed over my bf.
Anyways flash forward to now we got better over the year we’ve been back together but new problems occurred from his trauma of us breaking up. He’s a complete shut in. He ignores me a lot. Things aren’t interesting anymore, but we are extremely comfortable around each other still. Like a married couple comfortable. I recently reconnected with an old friend who lived very far from me. We talk every single day for hours. Sit on calls. Video chat. Hours straight, nonstop. What he makes me feel is different from how I felt compared to anyone I’ve ever been with even my bf. He’s so kind. Understanding. My bf only liked to flaunt me off while we were kids in middle school, but this guy is so proud of me and everything about me.
When I talk about how I’ve been r4ped, or discuss any of my trauma, most people (understandably) don’t know how to react. My bf stays silent, ignores me, or says He’s sorry. It was late at night and I was shaking, face off of camera, hushed voice talking about it because he said he wanted to know everything about me. I finally felt safe to tell him. I’ve only told 3-4 people about my r4pe, and each one ended with them feeling weird about me so I was scared to tell him. Instead, he stared right into the camera, his eyes were so big and sad. He would close his eyes tight and shake his head in pain, and finally start tearing up. His heart hurt so bad knowing what happened to me.
I’ve never felt that before. Someone crying for my sake. My pain, being his own. And then, after comforting me the best way anyone ever has before, making me feel so validated, he said “I think I’m in love with you..” imagine someone telling you that they are in love with you after you told them all of the horrible things about yourself. I felt so warm. And I didn’t know what to say and he was okay with that.
He knows about my bf but nit that we’re dating. Bc I tried dumping him a few days after he tried dumping me ( that’s a whole other mess of a story I know it’s confusing. To sum it up my bf is severely depressed) I was so sure I wanted it to end but after that I think my bf knew I was slipping away so he’s been trying hard after doing jackshit for a year.
I feel conflicted because why is it that my bf is now trying, my friends are so sure I’ll regret staying with my ex and loosing this other guy. But I’m so scared of losing someone who has been my rock for so long. I feel awful that I’m hurting them both. Someone will be hurt in this. I’m such a fucking idiot.
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2020.09.28 22:18 purduegoer1869 Boyfriend of 4 years - I feel like he’s getting too used to me..

My boyfriend of 4 years now, we started dating in highschool junior year and now we’re both in college junior year, never does anything special for me anymore. He’s very controlling of me - not letting me wear certain things, go out with certain friends alone, no talking to other guys that he doesn’t know. He never dresses up for me or anything and I just feel like I’m not worth it anymore. He never buys me flowers or takes me out on dates unless I ask. He never compliments me or anything. I’ve tried to talk to him about these issues but he just seems too immature to be in the relationship. I’m his first relationship and he gets really upset at the thought of breaking up. I don’t know if it’s just me being petty or immature, but I just feel worthless sometimes. He never comes to spend the night with me because he promises his roommates he’s hanging out with them that night. I suffer with anxiety and depression and even if I’m having a hard night he still sticks to his other plans. I feel scared sometimes being alone in my apartment when my roommate goes home for the weekend and I ask him to come stay the night to make me feel safe but he refuses. He’s only slept over with me twice this whole year. Sexually it’s a whole other story, he constantly is in the mood for sex and sometimes if I offer it he comes over. I know it’s not right. I don’t know what to do, I just feel like I’m becoming a burden to him but he’s ignoring my feelings. Has anyone else had this same situation? I just feel so lost.
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2020.09.28 22:14 jermainedbrown High School Graduate Bonus

I’m currently a senior now in highschool and already have a contract with a leave date for mid 2021. I graduate early ( December 2020 ) if my recruiter can get my leave date pushed up will I be eligible for the H.S grad bonus then?
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2020.09.28 21:07 ctrlshiftspacebar Best friend is fading out of my life and it hurts

So my best and closest friend since Highschool (23F) and I (23F) have grown distant and it frustrates me so much. It all kind of started 2 years ago I wanna say when she got in her first serious relationship. I knew she‘d spend less time with me and I was and still am happy for her and just gave her the space she needed. Then she prioritized college, which again I totally supported her there as I also think academics are very important. But we properly hang out with each other the last time like almost a year ago and then with quarantine you‘d think we‘d at least talk more but it still felt one sided. (We go to the same college) Now on summerbreak after classes and exams were over and we both quarantined we met up and it was great but regularly when I‘d offer a meet up she would decline or put a timer on our time together. Now what’s frustrating to me is that i‘m moving and she offered help and then last second canceled her plan to come over cause she wasn’t feeling well. That’s totally ok, but when I offered another date to come over she declined as well and didn’t offer any alternative. It just makes me feel hurt and as if she can’t/doesn’t want to be there when I need her. I don’t even expect her to help me with any of the work, I just really want to spend some time with her before she’s busy again. I‘m not confident I can address this with her as she only started opening up emotionally in recent times (thanks to her partner) and I‘m afraid she‘ll close off again.
How can I talk to her about it?
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2020.09.28 20:09 SupaThicJonWick Can someone tell me what this may mean or should i just write it off as some weird dream.

So i woke up 4 times last night, but this dream continued going on even after i went back to sleep. So i will break it uo into 4 parts for coherency sake. Also i was wondering what each part could mean, i don't think the overall parts have an overlapping meaning. though, i may be wrong. Either way i found it interesting nonetheless
Part 1
So the first part was this, i was back in highschool and had to use the bathroom. So i go and while I'm doing my thing this kid kicks open my stall. He was this dude named Kendrick, i end up getting my ass beat pretty bad because i was taking too long. And it wasn't just him who did it, it was literally every dude from that class except my 2 friends. Anyway after that i go home and have my girlfriend come over. It's a nice time until people show up with guns. I give her a rifle, my grandpa my shotgun and then i take his pistol. Anyway we end up having to defend my house. While this goes on, we end up having to stockpile ammo and it just got weird because these guys who came kept bringing up the bathroom incident. It may sound ridiculous, but having yo defend my home and my loved ones for what felt like days had me waking up with anxiety. The events leading up to it were ridiculous, but that gunfight really had me scared.
Part 2 This part is less eventful, and i only had an hour between this and the next time i woke up. Anyway so second part is again my girl staying over, but now theres a baby in my room and she's out in the family truck smoking with my 2 brothers, cody and Armando. Shes lecturing me about not waking up the baby. Well it isn't our baby and im confused as to how it got there. Now this is the only one i may have an explanation for, a week ago her and i had an incident and i thought she may have gotten pregnant. Having a child this early in life sometimes scares me.
Part 3
Anyway third part is this. We're hanging out again and but this time, everything from the first part has blown over and there is no baby. So i just assume it wasn't our baby. Anyway, we're hanging out with my cousin travis and playing video games. We're having a great time when we go outside. Now this dude shows up. He's in the military but is on leave. We hang out with the dude but i notice he's trying to get closer and closer to my girlfriend. Apparently in the dream they had history in highschool. He was kind of disregarding the boys and literally only focusing on my woman. So i confront him about it, i shove him and tell him to get out of my house. He ends up shoving and punching me in the face. Well after that a fight breaks out, he kept bringinh up how if i lost my girl would have to pick me up from the ground or something along those lines, which would basically show her just how weak i was. Either way i beat him pretty badly and tell him to tell me the truth about why he's here and of course its to win my girlfriends heart. Shitty anime plot i know. Either way i keep nudging him with my foot to make him leave but she just decided to help him up and lead him out. After he leaves she comes back and kisses me which was p pretty reassuring. That part kind of had me nervous when i woke up for some reason. I mean i won but still
Part 4 Anyway fourth part is the less eventful one. So its during a storm, her, me, my great aunt, my step father and this black family are at a dollar general/food lion/walmart store. Employes dressed like a mixture of DGs and walmart, store had similar layout to all of the 3, colors of DGs, overall layout of walmart and foodlion. So for most of it we're shopping alone. As we're nearing the register, this black dude calls me over, he asked me avout these cinnamon snacks or poparts. It was weird but i chose cinnamon snacks becasue there was one more in the box. So i run back to the counter and buy stuff. Well it turns out we forgot some groceries, so after that we travel around the store with the black dudes family looking for stuff. We go through the line again, steal a pair of cased water and then as we're walking out of the store its just pouring down outside. So im standing in front of the door while this massive storm is just outside pounding the ground. She hug me from behind and I just watched the rain fall. That one was definitely more peaceful than anything else. Now with the last one, it had some stressful moments,but it was definitely more peaceful.
Now i should mention i recently started dating my high school sweetheart again after 4 years. It has been over a year since ive been interested in dating so yeah. I'm sorry its so long and has some spelling errors. My phones screen is messed up and i literally just woke up.
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2020.09.28 19:57 Short_Nefariousness6 Dating but not texting a lot?

Hi guys,
Just curious on how much a casual relationship can be. I’ve only been in 2 serious relationships in my life and right now I’m in what you would say a casual relationship. Anyway, my first one was in highschool (lasted 2 years), second was long distance (2 years+ also) both of my exes were atleast a few months and a year younger than me. The person I’m dating now is 5 years older. For context, I’m 24 and he’s 29.
I’m so used to texting a lot even after we’ve just been together in person. Now, I’m mostly spending time with my current person but our texting has dwindled a lot since I first met him. Don’t get me wrong, we only just started dating like 2 and half weeks ago so I’m still kind of getting to know him. We both came from long term relationships 3 months ago, with his being 4 years and mine 2 years.
We met on a dating site and its no, its not tinder lol. But when I first met him, he has responded in a faster way and used to call me a lot at night...before we even had our first date. And I understand that during those times, he was less busier with work. Nowadays, he had been a lot busy. But on his day offs is the same...he still replies slow as 10 mins to half an hour.
It just kinda makes me feel like he likes me less? Even though we see each other almost everyday after my work cause he picks me up. He says good morning but we hardly hold a convo anymore and when we separate at the end of the night, he never initiates a good night text?
I guess I might be overthinking things..i just got used to texting a person I’m interested in a lot at the beginning of our relationship. That’s usually how I get to know someone and bond with them.
We are still just ‘dating’ so maybe I’m taking everything way too seriously lol.
Please help me out! lol.
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Advice: Dating In High School Should You Date in High School? (Pros and Cons) - YouTube Dating in Highschool (Part 1) By the way, High School Dating Advice - YouTube

What About Dating In High School? Circe Institute

  1. Advice: Dating In High School
  2. Should You Date in High School? (Pros and Cons) - YouTube
  3. Dating in Highschool (Part 1)
  4. By the way, High School Dating Advice - YouTube

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